I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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