My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
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