I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
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