You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
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I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
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Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I love you. Go after that dick
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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