Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
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