dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Randomize