I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
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Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
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What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
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