I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize