Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
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I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
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Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Never joke about your clitoris.
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