Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
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One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
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