Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
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