But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize