definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
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