I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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