my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
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we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
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How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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