I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize