this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Randomize