Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize