if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
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