Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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