I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
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