There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
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