She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize