I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
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