I think I am morally bankrupt
Quick, to the slutcave!
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
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Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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