first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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