Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
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that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
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Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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