Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize