Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
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he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
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Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
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