I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize