just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
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