What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
only if we run a train.
done.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
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