evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I love you. Go after that dick
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
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