No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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