At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Randomize