drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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