I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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