I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize