Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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