she is the kim kardashian of front butts
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize