whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
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