I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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