Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(860): View more from Connecticut

I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent

(860): View more from Connecticut

fuckk wrong person

(1-860): View more from Connecticut

.. who was that for? a girlscout?

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(860): I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent (860): fuckk wrong person (1-860):.. who was that for? a girlscout? http://tfl.nu/6peq

Replies (31) Good night (2362) Bad night (1056)
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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.

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(814): Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn. http://tfl.nu/vfme

Replies (18) Good night (542) Bad night (3497) Order T-Shirt
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(323): View more from California

my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.

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(323): my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation. http://tfl.nu/m27j

Replies (9) Good night (647) Bad night (3633)
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(973): View more from New Jersey

so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator

(908): View more from New Jersey

hello competition

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(973): so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator (908): hello competition http://tfl.nu/cped

Replies (18) Good night (1500) Bad night (4632)
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(705): View more from Ontario

APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...

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(705): APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk... http://tfl.nu/biv4

Replies (5) Good night (3542) Bad night (782) Order T-Shirt
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(505): View more from New Mexico

I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator

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(505): I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator http://tfl.nu/t25w

Replies (12) Good night (720) Bad night (2362) Order T-Shirt
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(612): View more from Minnesota

Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested

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(612): Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested http://tfl.nu/tmq3

Replies (5) Good night (1587) Bad night (672) Order T-Shirt
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(630): View more from Illinois

If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday

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(630): If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday http://tfl.nu/2qux

Replies (1) Good night (1149) Bad night (407) Order T-Shirt
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(205): View more from Alabama

No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.

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(205): No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s. http://tfl.nu/msmd

Replies (2) Good night (1251) Bad night (495) Order T-Shirt
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(317): View more from Indiana

His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...

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(317): His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip... http://tfl.nu/pj0o

Replies (7) Good night (1583) Bad night (729) Order T-Shirt
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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.

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(724): You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to. http://tfl.nu/ryed

Replies (2) Good night (604) Bad night (338) Order T-Shirt
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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.

(1-724): View more from Pennsylvania

Not the worst first impression I've experienced.

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(724): Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face. (1-724): Not the worst first impression I've experienced. http://tfl.nu/reln

Replies (3) Good night (576) Bad night (227)
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(971): View more from Oregon

I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."

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(971): I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob." http://tfl.nu/bamh

Replies (4) Good night (272) Bad night (527)
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(775): View more from Nevada

You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home

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(775): You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home http://tfl.nu/dzie

Replies (4) Good night (715) Bad night (203) Order T-Shirt
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(312): View more from Illinois

You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.

(219): View more from Indiana

I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said

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(312): You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'. (219): I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said http://tfl.nu/2r64

Replies (3) Good night (844) Bad night (508)

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