woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize