Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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