I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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