Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize