giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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