dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
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Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
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I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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