i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
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I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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