I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
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